Saturday, January 30, 2010
Howdy all!Eric here, So here's the device all the poison was pumped thru into Cyndi. We actually tried to take it home as a trophy but the doc said it was biohazard. I am pretty sure that was bull as we have a two year old and truly know what biohazard is everytime we change a loaded diaper. Oh well,maybe thats how that hospital has turned around its profits,maybe they reuse them and charge for new ones,hmmm conspiracy anyone?kiddin
The day started off with cyndi whacked out super anxious (as always before any procedure) and with a dream I had about my mom that was so real that when I woke, just for a moment, I thought I'd give her a call. Then it hit me that she's gone. It was a great dialogue dream that I remember pretty well,we were sittin on the couch chatting about this and that,laughing,just me and my mom,strange huh? I hope there are more of those,it was kinda comforting.
Anyway, back to the 6 hour (25 minute procedure) hospital visit. The nurse got cyn all hooked up,iv'd (which hurt like hell cuz of her carpal tunnel that has been exacerbated by chemo) then a bit of anxiety medicene (none for me dang it) which relaxed her immensely. I have always hated the feeling that I get when they take her away and just leave me standing there and I had to do that again as well,never does it get easier. She was high as a kite when they brought her back which was ok with me, it's good for my weird sense of humor. She actually was craving a hamburger,which really threw me,she hasnt eaten a real burger in a really long time. I got her home,ice packed her up and she has been sleeping since, almost 14 hours, waking only for bites of food/water and bathroom breaks. Man she is really turning the page hard on that chapter,me too! I honestly dont know how much more I could do. You see cancer doesnt just get to the person who has it but it gets everyone around that person as well, one way or another. That flippin chemo regiment and the weight of death on your shoulders is heavy. The person you know turns into something/someone else with all that poison and it seems to last forever( it is goos to keep a calender for sure). But you know what,even thru all that she's made awesome new friends, friends that may not be around long,people who needed friends and genuinely wild and crazy friends.
I finally saw glimpses last week of the woman I know,the wife I love and the most amazing mom.Things that have been hit and miss for six months, I think she's finally coming back now. Finishing this chapter,turning this page (maybe slammin it down) and moving on. Let's go.I'm ready