Sunday, August 30, 2009

Escape to Tahoe

Well I am finally writing about chemo. I just now feel good enough to do it. Well it is something you will never understand until you go thru it, and now I know. I really dont have words to describe how hard it was. The nauseau rolled in around exactly 24 hrs after and that wasnt as bad as the chemo brain, or headache. I was pretty much debilitated for 6 days. I would try to get out of bed, but that would last about 10 minutes. I am so greatful that my hubby packed and took me to tahoe. I felt so much better. We had an evening walking on the beach at sunset that I will never forget. My prince charming Eric took me away from all the pain of the last 12 days and we strolled along one of my most favorite places in the world. I felt humane again, I got such HOPE again. I really didnt know if I would ever come out of chemo pit, but I feel good today, on day 10 after chemo, thanks to much prayer and escape. I feel that with Jesus help I can face chemo again in 5 days, and now have the hope to know I will again come out of chemo fog. Thanks to everyone who made it all happen and all your prayers. P.S. I just got home from Bethel worship where I heard a song in the heavenlies that was played that was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard and I felt an angel around me.

Monday, August 24, 2009

another short video

This is just a short video of the chemo treatment plus some pics, she loved having her mp3 for music and her favorite comforter. Except for the first attempt at treat this part was pain free and she is just trying to sleep thru it.

It's day three since the treatment and since yesterday Cyndi has kinda felt like s%^$. She really is giving this her all though and trying to eat (2 tablespoons is about all she can eat) frequently,lots of fluids and getting rest. I am sure it would be worse if it wasnt for all the prayers and support going her way, I cant thank you all enough.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Chemo Day

Well, Cyndi woke today feeling today feeling very positive and even a bit excited. I can attribute that to all the prayers from all of you. God's grace was upon her this morning like no other morning so far, it was easy to see. She kept telling Elijah she was going to battle before him (Mr Air Force ya know) which perplexed him a bit but what the hay,she was in good spirits. The boys prayed in earnest before we left and we prayed all the way to drop off Micah/Ashton early to school,then to chemo. We had been told to plan for 2.5 hours for the treatment.
As usual, it didnt go quite as planned. The nurse in training missed Cyndis port with the connection device so when they began to administer medication (different nurse now)it began to burn down her arm and chest. Since she didn't know what to expect,Cyndi said nothing,just bearing down gritting her teeth. When I told the nurse that I could see Cyndi was in pain she immediately installed another syringe and sucked out what she could of the missed dosage. This was the charge nurse now and she knew immediately what was happening,explained it and removed the connection to the port. Cyndi then spent the next hour or so recovering from the episode before reinstalling the connection. This time the charge nurse installed it and it worked perfectly,Cyndi felt nothing,except the ativan, which kinda knocked her out. Two hours later(6 hours total at the hospital),she was done. First round over, she says she feels ok and has slept most of the afternoon. Thanks again for the prayers and support, the next few days are supposed to be difficult, but by grace,maybe not.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Heart scan today

cool technology, just wish it wasn't my Cyndi there. the song playing said "i'm feeling like i'm living someone elses life,seems like i stepped outside,everything was going fine;

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

got the port

Cyndi got her port in today installed into her chest. Prayers were answered as she had to face going to surgery again with her anxiety and she did well. Her friend Liz was gracious enough to come up and help with whatever was needed which was mostly one on one talking with cyndi. Muchos Gracious goes out to her husband as well for lending her to us, as well as all you husbands out there whose wives have been helping our family. People helping with the boys and especially mr busy jakob (he's a blast but man high energy) have been great, the help with meals gosh i could go on and on. Blessings to you all for loving on us thru this. We dont know why we have to travel this road, but just wanted to thank everyone for pushing us thru the rocks and over the bumps.

Monday, August 17, 2009

first day of school

ej in high school,big freshmen now micah in fourth,mr. handsome
ashton in first grade, future president

jakob,yes he was imitating one of his brothers peeing in the backyard,now does it on command

all this excitement and then chemo, :(

Saturday, August 15, 2009

the chemo starts

well the medical oncologist visit didnt fair too well for my Cyndi. As with anyone who has to go thru this she is very scared (at one point told me she wanted me to do my back surgery first so she could wait a while but no way jose). We have to take one day at a time now,relish the good ,trudge through the bad. When I read her last post I have to admit I was very encouraged with her attitude, well thats changed a bit with the news we got on Friday.
Part of the issues she faces is the speed in which the doc feels we need to engage the enemy cells so i will give a timeline. she goes in tuesday 8/18 to the hospital for an iv cathedar that is put into her chest to recieve her treatments because she cant have all the treatments in her good right arm and she hates hospitals almost as much as I do and maybe more now. wednesday she goes for a heart scan (just to make sure the heart muscle is looks capable of doing the regime of hormonal therapy which is later on in the treatment cycle). Thursday the 20th we go for blood tests/informational session/chemo orders for hospital and on Friday the 21st we start. The chemo cycle will last 3-4 months, the regiment is she goes in once every two weeks for chemo (one treatment then a week off to recoup). once the chemo is done she gets a two week break then she starts radiation treatment for six weeks (monday thru friday every day) after thats done the hormonal treatment begin.
I want to let you know how grateful we are for continuing to pray for our family. Cyndi asked for some specifics;courage,strength and of course healing. We expect a miracle from this ordeal but only God knows what and how that will come about.
One other quick note;Please Please Please dont be offended if she says she cant talk on the phone and especially dont ask "why" if she says she's having a tough day,emotions are up and down so just be supportive. Thank you all so much and pray that she can get back on this blog herself as she has some insights to life and the Lord that are enough to put in a book (maybe later)

the chemo starts

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

day 45, 7 weeks into this journey 8/12/09

Well it has been a wild ride, that is all I can say, I feel I have lived 2 years in the last 7 weeks, and I feel I lost 2 months at the same time. Well I am over the 2nd surgery hump or out of the pit, which ever you prefer, I feel better each day. Thank you for all your support and prayers, they have made a difference. I go to chemo doc on friday and we will go over all things for next months of chemo. Next week then I meet with radiation doc for info on that 6 weeks. Well surgery was hell. I hate surgery , it is always so hard, and triple hard for me. I dont know why, but it is brutally hard. In saying that, I am having a great week, and probibly had one of the best days in memory yesterday, hearing my boys tales of the "bounce house" with dad. They were all fired up when they got home and laughing, singing songs and just goofy all around, it felt so good, so normal again. I love weeks like this that have some bit of normallity to them. I have to say it has been the hardest 7 weeks of my life but also the most incredible. The journey is so amazing, I feel like the cancer is about 20% of what God is doing in all this. The measure of healing and love He has poured out for me has given me more joy than I have felt in years. Only with God can you see Him turning a curse into a blessing right before your eyes. I feel more like a child of God, more loved by God, more in love with God and my husband and my children than ever before. I feel more joy in resting in His love for me and knowing that God is taking care of me like never before. I am so greatful for an amazing husband who has stood beside me and carried me back to life again, He has held me up when I couldnt stand and been my strength when I had none left. I am so greatful for everyone that God has put in my life right now that has joined in the journey with me thru this life changing event. Looking at my precious 4 boys faces each day has made every bit of it worth it.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Maybe today will be better

I hope Cyndi starts feelin a bit better soon. Y'all are probably wanting to hear from her but your stuck with me for now. Cyndi's incremental healing has been pretty tough on her. Most of you know she is a go getter and to be tired and not really able to use her left arm really puts a damper on 'her' timetable for healing. Hopefully today she gets to have her chest tube removed which is literally a thorn in her side and is quite bothersome. A BIG Thanks to Cyndi's more forceful friends for helping me to get her to rest, I think that this time she may have heard you.