day 45, 7 weeks into this journey 8/12/09

Well it has been a wild ride, that is all I can say, I feel I have lived 2 years in the last 7 weeks, and I feel I lost 2 months at the same time. Well I am over the 2nd surgery hump or out of the pit, which ever you prefer, I feel better each day. Thank you for all your support and prayers, they have made a difference. I go to chemo doc on friday and we will go over all things for next months of chemo. Next week then I meet with radiation doc for info on that 6 weeks. Well surgery was hell. I hate surgery , it is always so hard, and triple hard for me. I dont know why, but it is brutally hard. In saying that, I am having a great week, and probibly had one of the best days in memory yesterday, hearing my boys tales of the "bounce house" with dad. They were all fired up when they got home and laughing, singing songs and just goofy all around, it felt so good, so normal again. I love weeks like this that have some bit of normallity to them. I have to say it has been the hardest 7 weeks of my life but also the most incredible. The journey is so amazing, I feel like the cancer is about 20% of what God is doing in all this. The measure of healing and love He has poured out for me has given me more joy than I have felt in years. Only with God can you see Him turning a curse into a blessing right before your eyes. I feel more like a child of God, more loved by God, more in love with God and my husband and my children than ever before. I feel more joy in resting in His love for me and knowing that God is taking care of me like never before. I am so greatful for an amazing husband who has stood beside me and carried me back to life again, He has held me up when I couldnt stand and been my strength when I had none left. I am so greatful for everyone that God has put in my life right now that has joined in the journey with me thru this life changing event. Looking at my precious 4 boys faces each day has made every bit of it worth it.